When looking for love, start with what you are hiding.

"To fully love your partner, achieve self-love first by identifying the things that you wish people would not find out about you, sharing them with people, and using those very characteristics to HELP someone else"

Bethany Pearson O'Connor.

The O'Connor quote above nails the idea that what you are hiding from others, and often-times from yourself, is standing in the way you of your ability to love your Self wholeheartedly, and by extension, to love others.

In other words, without Self-love, there isn't much we bring in the way of love to any of our relationships.

Love, in my mind, involves the acceptance (not liking - but not shaming or shunning) of the light and dark parts of our Selves. For love to be unconditional, it REQUIRES the acceptance of the whole rather than picking and choosing the "good" bits, and ignoring, blocking, avoiding the "bad".

Stepping away from judgmental labelling of our parts helps us move towards self-acceptance, and by extension allows space for love to grow. 

So what are you hiding from others? What are you hiding from yourself? Are you hiding those things because of the "good"/"bad" labels you've stuck to them? Where are the bits you are ashamed of? 

If self-love and self-acceptance seem like important, valued directions to move in, it's time to look at the labels you are using and the things you are hiding. 

But be sure of one thing: you are not alone, you are not the only one, you don't have to do it alone. 

Sarah xx